I believe in positivity. I preach optimism over pessimism every time. But sometimes you fall off that proverbial soap box and hit the ground, hard.
This past week it felt like every issue, scowl or sudden change in my life seeped into my open pores and contaminated my breezy outlook.
It started with a new semester filled with interesting classes but an
exhausting schedule. Next up we have some out of the blue friendship
conflict and looming internship pressure. Lastly, I decided to dig up
the past and see how I feel now about certain things and did not like
what I found. But it all seems miniscule compared to the earthquake in
Haiti.
I ask myself how I can sit around and worry
about little things when people in the world are really suffering? I
chastise myself for being selfish and focusing so much on me, me, me!
Then comes the guilt and self- punishment.
I feel too much. I
sometimes walk around like a static cling sheet
attracting everything and anything around me. Lately, I have an
emotional laundry basket hanging off my back instead of the occasional
black sock.
So
what do I do? I take a few deep breaths and understand that I can't
control most of the things I'm dwelling over. I tell myself and my
readers that if I/you can change only one thing, change how you feel about the situation.
The
past is the past, but it is good to dig up emotions that haven't been
dealt with and deal with them. Friendships change over time and
hopefully the important ones will stand the test. I make a modest donation
to Haiti and keep them in my thoughts. Finally, I will get a good
night's sleep to prepare for my second week back and take things as
they come, including internships.
So I climb back on my soapbox, the view is better from here anyways.
oh do I know how you feel
ReplyDeleteI know you do Tac! But don't worry, hang in there- people will always bring you down, just gotta keep your head high!
ReplyDelete