What does it mean to be a girl? Mia's Christening

Over the weekend, I watched my baby cousin get baptized. Sure, the religious markings were all there. The holy water. The frilly infants. The priest scolding me for getting too close while taking pictures.

But what about the personal markings? The blessing of this new little girl?

As a family growing up, we've always been outnumbered by girls. Even though the matriarch, our dear grandmother passed away when we were young, we had our grandfather who was the most sensitive and was built to take care of women. He had a mashed potato soft spirit that wiped away tears without discomfort and gave hugs away like chocolate chip cookies. He just understood our souls, having three daughters himself. And we were raised with strong mothers, and aunts and we are close, really close, like females tend to be.

And then people started getting married and having boys (like Little!) and the numbers were balancing off.

And then Mia came.

And while I don’t care much about what it means to be a "girl" in whatever traditional sense Martha Stewart defines (read: I don't contribute frosted cupcakes to events, I have zero tolerance for debates about tablecloth colours) I do fiercely love what it means to have another one in our family.

Because we get to add Mia to our girls table. And we will tell her that she is smart and funny and interesting, because too many little girls are only told they are pretty. Even though her eyes, those gray-blue orbs, rare in our family, can already disarm a heart with a half-blink.

And yes, I fully understand that no one's family is perfect, not even mine, but this baby girl is.

Below are some photos from the event. Table design by my sister Mel Marie, photos by yours truly.

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Sixteen & Definitely Sweet

What happened when I sat down with five high school girls and talked beauty, body image and style?

Alas, I'm getting ahead of myself. Last week, I was interviewed by 16 year-old Bronte Martin for the fall issue of Off the Map (OTM) zine. I couldn't believe this confident, long legged girl wasn't even out of high school. After the interview I thought it would be a good idea to ask Bronte if she and a few friends would want to be featured on Not A Model.

I met with Nicolette, Cassie, Sophie, Stephanie and Bronte at a cafe in the Toronto Beaches to start the interview. I was impressed with how relaxed, confident and happy-in-their-own-skin they all were. I don't remember looking that stylish or put together at 16.

When I asked the girls about the pressures they feel to look a certain way, they all had different but similar answers. Most of them agreed that while there is pressure, it is mostly external and comes from friends, boys or other people's commentary. Nicolette said her two biggest pressures are the media and school. Stephanie said that she finds she can put pressure on herself. They all agreed that while they have flaws, they try to focus on the positive, and as they get older they gain more confidence. (It's only going to get better, I told them).

One of the best things I noticed was that they seem to feed off each other to build confidence and stay grounded. They all cited their friendship as the reason why they don't spend too much time worrying about their looks. I asked them to write down one thing about themselves physically that they liked, and one thing about their personality that they liked. They were stunned, nervous and no one wanted to play this game. I then asked them to say the exact same thing about the person sitting beside them. They found that super easy. I took out large sheets of paper (like in Kindergarten) and coerced them to write.

I told them that the same nice things they could say about their friends were probably true about themselves. No one was going to think they were conceited. Everyone should be able to point out things about themselves that make them special, because (as cheesy as it sounds) everyone has something that makes them great. 

So I ask you to find the words they chose in *drumroll* Not A Model's first video blog!! Shooting videos and short films could be something that I start doing in the future. Although this video is a little shaky and forgive my cliche "rough around the edges," I had a great time filming it. I promised the girls that I would try to make something of the footage... so enjoy! 

Not A Model- Sixteen Video from Amanda DiPaq on Vimeo.

I want to thank all the girls for a fantastic day. I am passionate about mentoring and talking to young girls. Eventually, I want to start my own Not A Model program and be able to travel to elementary or high schools and speak to large groups of girls. I would love to write a book and have an army of non-models who want to express how they feel about beauty, life and self-esteem. Until then..

'Not A Model' is a state of mind. Live it. Embrace it. Be yourself.