This is what 27 looks like...

If someone asked my 13 year old self what I thought 27 looked like, I would have thought about the person I knew closest to that age, and decided from there.

I probably would have thought about a teacher, or a cousin, or someone I saw in a movie. We like to look at other people as an example of where we imagine we should, or could be. I know that by 27 my mom had me, and was close to expecting my sister. I know about the tragic musician's 27 club. I learned Ingrid Bergman was 27 when she captivated Bogart in Casablanca.

Why do we look to others as a comparison to where we stand?

I am entering the latter half of the party that is my twenties. It is like being stuck at a 10 year house party, where you enter thinking it won't be drastically different than your teens, and then you walk through the front door.

At the twenties party, someone is nursing a baby in a room upstairs, while another person is upside down taking tequila shots off a stranger. Someone is getting promoted, while another person is quitting their job to backpack across Thailand. One person is wearing a diamond ring, while the other is trying to find a hookup on an app. It looks quite different; for every stage, and for every person.

As I near the end of my twenties, I'm trying not to set goals that are attached to my age. For example, by the time I am 29, I should be here. Goal setting tied to age creates additional pressure, because if you fail to achieve a milestone by the target, there is a heavy sense of failure in that.

For example, a goal like: I want to be published by 30. What happens when I'm 31? Do all of my publishing dreams go to die in a 30 year old grave? Julia Child was 49 when Mastering the Art of French Cooking was published. If she decided that she was too old to become a chef, would her success have happened?

The important thing to do is to know yourself, and where you'd like to be, separate from people in your age range. Understand that it is always an internal struggle, not an external competition, or race.

Goals can be made at any age. Love can be found at any age. Education can begin at any age. Don't get trapped in believing that if you're not where you want to be when you blow out those candles, that you've failed. Another year is another shot to make it happen.

So this is what 27 looks like, and it's perfectly okay, because it's now.

Photo taken by Stefania Sgambelluri in Toronto, on April 19th, 2014 

Finding inspiration

Sometimes inspiration comes from the smallest things. Today, it comes from the succulent my sister bought me and its little glass home. It also comes from my citrine crystal. Citrine, a form of quartz is meant to promote optimism and dissolve negative energy. Whether I actually believe in the power of healing crystals, having one beside my work station, or near me when I eat breakfast can't hurt. My family also welcomed a new baby girl this weekend, Kate, and she's a doll.  

It's Monday, and after a long weekend it's easy to have the blues or that sluggish feeling that comes from over indulgence. Whatever today brings, find the small things around you to bring a little bit of inspiration to get through the day or week.

Find the gratitude, and the rest will follow.

Looking for some PINspiration?

It seems that I've succumbed to the Pinterest obsession.

I know, I'm late to the party. It all started with my cousin and sister and their obsession, then it was the app, then it was an invite to an account for PR purposes and now I'm a professional "pinner" as I like to call it. Pinterest is all about inspiration. For those who are also late to the party, Pinterest is an online pinboard that lets you collect things that you like/desire/covet and then share with other people. There are tons of categories, from travel to fashion to photography to name a few.

It's kind of like eating candy. There is a quick "sugar" high from the immense amount of scrolling and clicking and then pinning. It's a weird little rush to see all these pretty things in so many different categories and boards. It can leave one feeling inspired, or sometimes a bit tired.

An indulgent browse through Pinterest can be all Ryan Gosling, closets the size of kitchens, frosted cupcakes with impossibly charming mini-cupcakes on top, gooey macaroni and cheese lasagna, and Paris - in every way, shape and form that Paris can be represented. Oh, and balloons - bunches and bunches of balloons on balconies, in you guessed it, Paris.

This type of overload can then lead to:

• Ryan Gosling is not who I wake up beside in the morning, my entire bedroom is the size of that closet - oh, and I haven't unpacked that box under my desk that's under a pile of books and I've lived here for 10 months; I want to eat that macaroni and cheese lasagna but still look like the girl carrying those balloons, while also eating a cupcake in Paris. Wait...

While I still love Pinterest, I think that sometimes it's okay to look around at your own life and realize that not everything is pretty and perfect and "pin" worthy.  Sometimes it's good to take your eyes off the screen and find something beautiful in your everyday.

While it's still winter, I find some daily inspiration in the sunshine. The mornings are bright and blinding and my walk to work is that much easier. Sure this isn't Paris, I'm not currently eating a cupcake and I will never have an organized closet, but the best part of this inspiration is... it's mine.

Follow Not A Model on Pinterest at: http://pinterest.com/notamodelblog/ 

Start FRESH

Ruth Tal kicks tradition to the curb, one vegetable at a time.

Owner and creator of Fresh restaurants, and the co-author of three bestselling cookbooks with a fourth on the way, Tal knows a thing or two about staying healthy without sacrificing flavour. I sat down with her to talk vegetarianism, travel, entrepreneurship and life.

"I want people to feel energized, satisfied and fueled up without feeling heavy. I want them to leave knowing they did something good for themselves and the planet," she says.

Fresh restaurants offers gourmet vegetarian dining made from all natural ingredients. Tal switched to veganism when she started dating one. She noticed she wasn't feeling her best, so she cut dairy, meat and wheat from her diet. She suddenly had more energy and her body began to transform. While her and the beau didn't make it last, she remained a vegan and has been one for almost 20 years.

The results are evident. Tal's body is toned, trim and sculpted. She exudes all the signs of good health like bright eyes, clear skin and healthy hair. It's hard not to be envious. Tal's beauty also stems from her diverse background, she comes from Morrocan, Israeli, Spanish and French parents. She explains how her family trips took her all around the world at an early age. Tal sees herself as a, "citizen of the world" and everything about Fresh is inspired by her travels from the colour schemes to the names of items on the menu.

As a young traveller, she believes that all people should see the world and get out of their "comfort zones." At 16 years old, Tal dropped out of high school and at 18 she left home to travel the world for 7 years before returning to Toronto.

"Travelling keeps it fresh," she fittingly says, no pun intended.

At 25, she was ready to start her university career but ended up using her student loans to buy juicers. The rest is history as her juicing business slowly turned into opening her own restaurant.

"If you have a passion, you can afford to take the risk," she says.

At the time she thought,"So what if I fail? I have time to make mistakes, I'm young. I'm supposed to be stupid and crazy."

Years later, her gumption paid off as she has three thriving restaurants, published cookbooks and an outlook on life that is contagious, carefree and should be bottled up and sold to uptight cynics everywhere.

Her life motto? "I just want to be happy and be myself. Live my life authentically, honestly. Oh and I want to stay young forever." 

So far so good.

[photo cred: Stefania Sgambelluri]

Check out the three locations of Fresh located at Spadina Ave, Bloor St W. and Queen St. W in Toronto.

*After talking to Ruth I left inspired to go after things that I've been putting off for months, years even. If there is a time to do anything it's now. Everyone who is hesitating going after a dream, don't think just do. We'll rise or fall together. Either way, we tried*

the Hunch

Today I urge you to trust your:

• GUT

• VOICE

• FEELING

• THE LITTLE HAIRS ON YOUR ARMS

I'm telling you that your intuition is right. That little feeling kicks in for a reason. That voice is telling you something. You may brush it off and shrug your shoulders but listen carefully.

You are rarely wrong.

I found out some news over the weekend that I had suspected all along. At first I felt a wave of confidence and exclaimed, "Aha I knew it!" Simultaneously, I felt like I'd just tipped over the edge of a roller coaster forcing my stomach into my throat. Sometimes being right is liberating and at other times it only confirms something you wish wasn't true in the first place.

There doesn't always have to be concrete proof to know when something isn't right. Once you begin to trust yourself, you will be on the path to making better decisions.

After reading my posts I hope that people will reevaluate their current mindset, relationships, friendships, careers and routines. Quit the rationalizing and analyzing and just go with your gut. If something feels off, if something inside you is telling you it isn't right, it probably isn't.

So pay attention. 

A whisper can be more telling than a roar. 

 

The Sound of Settling

Dear You,

You say you want one thing. You describe it in detail and argue your case so well that it baffles me when you choose to remain, or go back to the very thing you said you didn't want? Hmm...

But alas everything makes sense now.

It's not baffling. It's back to comfort. Back to starry-eyed naivety and no pressure. Safe, uncomplicated, unchallenging child's play.

It's like milk and cookies. You dunk the cookie in milk, with concentration and skill until you have created the perfect mix of soft, creamy and melt-in-your-mouth sweet. But leave your cookie in the milk for too long and it falls apart. You're left to go on an underwater scuba search with your spoon to find those bits settled at the bottom. You barely remember the crisp wholeness it used to be, yet you eat the squishy bits anyways.

Those bits are your unexamined life. Relationships, careers and health are among the most common things that people settle for. It's the mentality that what's out there (loneliness, hard work and a challenge) is way more frightening than mediocrity.

The main thing that kicks me into high gear is thinking of a future where I'm in a career that doesn't stimulate me, a relationship/marriage that was just "convenient" and a blurry image of a girl who used to have all this ambition and hope.

So my pitch is this: if you know in your heart of hearts that there is a better career, person, or version of yourself out there- be brave and make the change.

Sure you'll have critics saying you're crazy, or that you'll never find a better [job, person, house, life] than you have right now. But those people are just scared to make the moves themselves. The journey may be tough, but at least you'll have your integrity along the way.

If my "life is a cookie" isn't doing it for you, I'll leave you with a quote from inspirational author Alan Cohen:

"It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power."