Anyone still out there?

"But the thing about rising is we have to continue upward, the thing about going beyond is we have to keep going"- Cheryl Strayed

Hello readers!?

I feel like I owe you an explanation.

It's pretty apparent I've taken a hiatus from the blog. This is the longest I've gone in five years without writing something on this platform. As summer approached, I became consumed with work, friends, weddings, events and freelancing.

I was also plagued with a bit of social media fatigue, as my recent job involves a lot of content creation. I became stuck in my own head, with a scrolling screen repeating: I have nothing interesting to say. My life isn't aspirational. Instagram is all people really care about anyways. Blogs are dying.

There are always reasons why we stop doing something we love.

what's your hustle?

Ever since Kate Lanphear became editor in chief of Maxim magazine, I've given the men's glossy a second look. I discovered the new version on a borrowed tablet. The paired down cover shots of Victoria Secret angels/models/superhumans Candice Swanepoel and Lily Aldridge looked, dare I say, real? There was not globs of makeup, nests of hair extensions, or contrived poses to be found. 

This issue's theme is: hustle. 

What is hustle?

Weekly Mantra - Let certain things go..

This week's mantra is about being brave enough to turn over the sheets. Wait, maybe even throwing them out the window. As our North American cities thaw, ain't no thang like spring cleaning one's life!

“That is why it is so important to let certain things go. To release them. To cut loose. People need to understand that no one is playing with marked cards; sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Don't expect to get anything back, don't expect recognition for your efforts, don't expect your genius to be discovered or your love to be understood. Complete the circle. Not out of pride, inability or arrogance, but simply because whatever it is no longer fits in your life. Close the door, change the record, clean the house, get rid of the dust."― Paulo Coelho via Goodreads

The Month of March

Emily Dickinson's poem, Part Five: The Single Hound, starts like this:

MARCH is the month of expectation,
The things we do not know

While March can be a month of hope, there is a sense that it will always be this way.

The salted slush comfortable on the ground; cold wind that nips on ears like a puppy that will never be trained; a profound darkness that trails us home at 5 p.m. But soon, light will flood our evenings and stretch out like a baby waking from slumber. We will smile at strangers on city streets, and all that is rotting will bloom green.

Winter will fold its cards, because it no longer has the winning hand. I say goodbye to February; a month of shallow breathing and hibernation. I fling my arm back, wave my floppy hand, but I do not turn my head. No, I keep my eyes forward.

One step at a time, until I feel sunshine.

New Weekly Mantra - The Crawl

Lately, I've been thinking about crawling.

Baby Kate has recently learned. I watch her zip around the room, and then swivel and sit around in her new location. We're all careful that she doesn't get hurt, or bump her head on coffee table poles, or couch ends. 

Although I learned to crawl many years ago, this month, I had to learn again. There was no one to protect me from the bumps, except that perhaps I needed to slam into a few things before getting to my destination. (And I'm still not there).  

These days, I use my apartment sliding doors to write notes, quotes, To-Do lists, and other things I find inspiring, so when I wake up, I see where I need to be. I've been reading Nymag's "Ask Polly" advice column for awhile now, and this week's mantra comes from it. 

Here it is, as scribbled on my walls. For more Polly, visit Nymag.com. Enjoy! x

Weekly Mantra - Don't try to hold on to the wave..

Last week I found myself a wee bit stressed.

Stress is something that can easily be handled, or spiral out of control like a roll of toilet paper a toddler carries around the house. This week's mantra comes from the first page of a book I have, but haven't read, Ali Smith's Artful. I opened the page, and there it was, the answer I needed.

The interesting message in this quote, is that as long as we are here, there will be always be something else that comes along, if we're open and willing to receive it. There will be another opportunity, another love, another bus to catch. We just have to give up trying to control the outcome, and let things be.

Enjoy!

Weekly Mantra - The Law of Attraction

I remember reading The Secret a long time ago.

What you think about, you bring about, is the most I recall. Thoughts are powerful. They create our worlds, our moods, and our energy without us even knowing it. I recently bought the book, Law of Attraction: The Science of Attracting More of What You Want and Less of What You Don't by Michael J. Losier. It was a short read, but a good refresher on how the mind is our most powerful tool.

I am an over-thinker. Once I get something in my head, it can spiral into a larger narrative, and suddenly I'm dwelling on something that isn't even real. Being aware of my thoughts, and how they affect my current mood and state is always a lesson that I need reminding of. This week's mantra follows the same guidelines. Enjoy!

"Positive and negative emotions cannot occupy the mind at the same time. One of the other must dominate. It is your responsibility to make sure that positive emotions constitute the dominating influence of your mind." - Napoleon Hill 

Weekly Mantra - Merry Bright Holiday

As the holiday season hits full swing, this week's mantra is all about creating joy. One of my favourite parts of any holiday is handwriting cards, and this J.Crew one was a favourite on my roster.

From mine to yours, happy holidays! x

“The joy of brightening other lives, bearing each others’ burdens, easing others’ loads and supplanting empty hearts and lives with generous gifts becomes for us the magic of the holidays.” - W. C. Jones

Book Club & Weekly Mantra - Wild

On my bedside table is Wild by Cheryl Strayed.

The popular true story follows Strayed's journey as an adventurer who after some tough personal events decides to walk the Pacific Crest Trail alone.

The memoir (which I am more than half way complete) brings you to a point of your own self-discovery. I find myself applauding Strayed's bravery, as I can't even look into a dark forest without  getting shivers. The book has also been adapted into a film starring Reese Witherspoon.

Below is a quote from Wild, and this week's mantra. Enjoy! x

 “I knew that if I allowed fear to overtake me, my journey was doomed. Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves, and so I chose to tell myself a different story from the one women are told. I decided I was safe. I was strong. I was brave. Nothing could vanquish me.”

― Cheryl Strayed, Wild via Goodreads

image via the great discontent

New Weekly Mantra - We think too much about what goes wrong..

I realized that I've been acting ungrateful lately. I'm quick to point out all of the things that aren't right, from the littlest things, to the larger life items. It is always when I read international news, or look up for a second from my own world, that I realize that I have much, much, much more than I'll ever need; even if everything is not quite where I want it to be.

This week's mantra relates. Enjoy! x

"We think too much about what goes wrong and not enough about what goes right in our lives. Of course, sometimes it makes sense to analyze bad events so that we can learn from them and avoid them in the future. However, people tend to spend more time thinking about what is bad in life than is helpful. Worse, this focus on negative events sets us up for anxiety and depression. One way to keep this from happening is to get better at thinking about and savouring what went well." - Dr. Martin Seligman via Brain Pickings 

New Weekly Mantra - Tay Swift

My old roommate Nisha is a Taylor Swift fanatic.

We'd have debates about her sweet persona, her hair changes, her award show speeches, and her music. (I always played the offensive, even though I enjoyed a good Taylor song)

And yet, living with Nisha for one year, slowly converted me into a super fan. Every time Swift released a new album, I vowed that this time I was going to outgrow her music. And then within a few days, I was nodding my head, tapping my toes, dancing around, or crying in my car? (Okay the crying is probably from her 2009 Fearless album. I was young, okay?)

1989 is her first pop album, and since I purchased it, I can't stop listening. I don't usually buy full albums anymore, as most are streamable online, but Swift doesn't abide to steaming services. With my album purchase, I received the digital booklet, also known as the album jacket that comes with physical CDs.

I read a quote from her foreword that really resonated with me. Enjoy!

"The debate over whether people can change is an interesting one for me to observe because it seems like all I ever do is change. All I ever do is learn from my mistakes so I don't make the same ones again. Then I make new ones. I know people can change because it happens to me little by little every day. Every day I wake up as someone slightly new. Isn't it wild and intriguing and beautiful to think that every day we are new?" 

 quote via Taylor Swift / image credit via we know the dj.

New Weekly Mantra - Oscar de la Renta

Oscar de la Renta passed away last week at the age of 82. He was one of my favourite designers, and I wanted to start the week off with a quote from him. Enjoy! x

“I really hate nostalgia. I don’t look at the world today and say, Oh, what a pity there are no Babe Paleys around. That’s not how to live your life. And the only manners I am interested in are the manners of the heart.” - Oscar de la Renta via The Cut

/ image via Pursuitist  

Weekly Mantra - Freedom vs. Confidence

Confidence seems to be the easy answer to everything.

Magazine editors, actors, models — they all love to tell us that confidence is what makes a person. My favourite beauty site, Into the Gloss and their founder Emily Weiss wrote the following quote this week, and I loved it.

I like her view on being fearless, even if things aren't where they are supposed to be. Enjoy. x

"Freedom and confidence are two different things, in my book. Confidence is overrated—it can be faked, whereas freedom is fearlessness. Freedom is being more or less okay with wherever you’re at, at any given point in your life or your day or your hour, be it really sucky or really great or somewhere in between (and there are a lot of in-betweens.) The single guiding principle that I try to follow, assuming blindly that the rest will fall into place, is to operate squarely in the present. I think it’s one of the most difficult things for anyone to do." 

- Emily Weiss via  via Into the Gloss

The New Vision: Fall

I'm not a very fussy person. 

While I like my space to be (hygienically) clean, I don't mind a bit of clutter. 

I like things strewn around my apartment; I believe it adds character, my character. I let piles of things grow on my desk like moss in a humid forest, until all of a sudden I have no idea why I've kept so many receipts, magazines, and old gift cards. 

While I can deal with clutter, and the organized chaos, sometimes I hit a moment when I have to organize, and rearrange. A few weeks ago, I found myself tearing everything off of my bulletin board. I sat on my carpet and flung off every scrap of paper until I could see the cork again.

It was approaching a new season, and I needed a new vision.

This time, I positioned everything a bit neater than the way I sloppily tacked things on during spring. I found new photos; I gathered new items that were speaking to me. Black and white is the theme; everything is a bit moodier, and more serious.

During summer, I embraced a different kind of me. I was a loosely based version of myself, like reading a book and recognizing someone, but realizing that the name has changed, and maybe the mannerisms, but you can swear you know who they are talking about. The change wasn't bad, it was different. Probably the most different I've felt in years. All summer, I floated around like a large fish that was brought home from the store and had to make decisions based on the size of its tank.

I'm ready to get back to the ocean.

Below is this week's mantra and focuses on the new season. Enjoy!

"That whole time of year, autumn, I find exhilarating. A passionate season. The others are so bland. In the fall, you see opportunities for change. Real change. Possibilities present themselves. None of the renewal and redemption cliches of spring. No. Something darker and more primal and more important than that.” ― Alice LaPlante via Goodreads

Weekly Mantra - Emma Watson

image source Getty Images

I remember getting into a debate with a guy I was dating over the word "feminist."

He started off the conversation with, "You aren't some bra burning feminist are you?" I remained calm, but responded that yes, actually I am (but minus the bra burning because bras are expensive, and I need them).

This past weekend, Emma Watson spoke at the United Nations as she is a UN Women Goodwill Ambassador.

Her speech was about feminism, and while it did focus on women's equality, the speech also focused on opening up the stage for men and boys.

The HeForShe campaign is a call for men to be vulnerable, and to be free of gender stereotypes. It is a platform for men to stand up for feminism, because they also believe in the rights of women.

I thought her speech was brilliant, and wanted to share it with you. This week's mantra comes from her, and if you haven't already, watch the full video here. Enjoy!

"My life is a sheer privilege because my parents didn’t love me less because I was born a daughter. My school did not limit me because I was a girl. My mentors didn't assume that I would go less far because I might give birth to a child one day. These influences are the gender equality ambassadors that made me who I am today. They may not know it but they are the inadvertent feminists needed in the world today. We need more of those. If you still hate the word, it is not the word that is important. It is the idea and the ambition behind it because not all women have received the same rights I have. In fact, statistically, very few have." - Emma Watson

Weekly Mantra - Dog Sitting

Last week, I was dog sitting while my parents were on vacation.

Our family dog, Bailey (also known as Bilu) arrived to my apartment so white that people would stop me on the street to ask how I kept him so clean.

"He's a suburban dog," I said.

B hates rainstorms, being alone and loud noises. He's scared of plastic bags, or the sound of my camera clicking. When I would leave the apartment, he'd scratch the door, until the paint chipped away. I could hear his nails clawing at the wood, all the way down the hall by the elevator. I became those crazy dog people who'd shout down empty corridors.

"I'll come back soon! Be a good boy."

Bailey has no shame in wanting to be loved, every minute of the day. He wants to be near you when you watch television, brush your teeth, type on your laptop, make dinner, or stand around naked and decide what to wear. He doesn't judge, or care about mood swings, or clothing choices. He'd want to sit beside me in a $2000 dress, or a sports bra full of holes.

When I'd take him for walks, he had no qualms about rubbing his white furry body up against filthy lamp posts, and cement walls. By the end of the week, he was the colour of a used Swiffer pad. I was getting used to a busy routine with a pet, until I went from writing blog posts, to helping edit an obituary for my uncle who passed away last week.

When someone passes away, everything stops. What remains is how important it is to show love to those around you, and to take care of those who need to be taken care of.

On my last dog-sitting night, I decided not to freak out when my now dirty, city Bilu moved from his blanketed spot on my bed, to my bare sheets, to snuggle up beside me. That's what he needed to feel safe, and I realized I needed the same thing.

This week's mantra is from children's author Shel Silverstein. Enjoy.

“How many slams in an old screen door? Depends how loud you shut it. How many slices in a bread? Depends how thin you cut it. How much good inside a day? Depends how good you live 'em. How much love inside a friend? Depends how much you give 'em.” 

Weekly Mantra - Here We Grow

Thessaloniki, Greece

I have 32, 883 words of a young adult novel that I've been writing.

According to Writer's Digest, the average young adult novel is between 55,000 and 69,999 words, which means that I am halfway to completion.

Will I finish it? I'm not sure. Do I want to finish it? Of course! Sometimes I look for inspiration in photos or words to remind me that all projects (personal or professional) take time.

Above is a photo I took in Thessaloniki of my favourite sculpture in the city. It's called Umbrellas, and the beauty of it made my eyes tell my brain to stop thinking for a moment. I wonder about the sculptor, Giorgos Zogolopoulos. I wonder how daunting this project must've felt at first, and how many people told him it wouldn't make sense.

Lastly, below is a quote from author and entrepreneur, Seth Godin that I also found inspiring and relevant. Enjoy!

"Great projects start out feeling like buildings. There are architects, materials, staff, rigid timelines, permits, engineers, a structure.

It works or it doesn't.

Build something that doesn't fall down. On time.

But in fact, great projects, like great careers and relationships that last, are gardens. They are tended, they shift, they grow. They endure over time, gaining a personality and reflecting their environment. When something dies or fades away, we prune, replant and grow again.

Perfection and polish aren't nearly as important as good light, good drainage and a passionate gardener.

By all means, build. But don't finish. Don't walk away.

Here we grow." - via sethgodin.typepad.com 

Weekly Mantra - Try something different

Sometimes I create change through making small decisions.

Things like buying a new couch pillow; choosing a book genre that I never read, or getting a hair cut. I've mentioned before without getting into too many details, that my routine looks nothing like it did a month ago. These days, I don't have anything in my life quite set. My schedule is made on a weekly basis, and I even work nights. While this change has been significant, I still find myself seeking other ways to alter my surroundings.

I got in touch with Elena, the amazing graphic designer who helped with my blog's redesign last year. I asked if she could send me some of the other logos she made, before I originally picked the final one. She sent me the jpeg, and I immediately changed it. (*Look above! I hope you like it)

Sometimes making a quick change, without focusing on the previous attachment, makes me feel like I'm moving forward in a way. While this blog isn't famous, or read by thousands, it is still a piece of me, and if I'm changing, then this space must also evolve.

For anyone else who's starting over, or contemplating finding a new routine, this week's mantra is for you! x

Back in Business

Helloooo!

Sometimes a vacation feels more than a couple of weeks away.

When I returned home from Greece, I felt like I'd been away for over a month. I came home to a completely different routine, to a different me. Before I left, I was a bit of a mess. I had tired panda eyes, and a slightly dropped spirit.

In Greece, I spent two weeks violently shaking my hair underwater like a happy sea monster. I relished in taking sweaty naps in the afternoon, and cold showers at night. I glued my forehead to car windows that took me down highways that snaked around cliffs of yellow flowers that smelled like a freshly perfumed French woman.

I carried around two notebooks, writing down everything I saw. I reconnected with my fictional characters that I sometimes set aside, like that game you played as a child, when someone yells "Freeze!" and you don't move until someone says you can. I thawed them out, and their stories started up again.

Before I left, I went to dinner with my best friend, and she took some photographs of me in Roncesvalles. While I stood in the cubbyhole she picked, she asked me to use the space around me; to embody the newfound freedom that I badly wanted to embrace.

So I did, and when we found the best shot, I hesitated to post it. She told me to own it, to stop caring about the rest.

While away, I began reading Dr. Brene Brown's, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. I first came across Brown's Ted Talk on vulnerability and I couldn't get it out of my head for days. I've always struggled with vulnerability. I've even been told that by a few people. But Brown believes that being vulnerable makes you stronger, even if at first, you feel weaker.

This week's mantra comes from her book. It is a quote I can re-read 100 times and still feel something. Hope you do too!

"Perfect and bulletproof are seductive, but they don't exist in the human experience. We must walk into the arena, whatever it may be— a new relationship, an important meeting, our creative process, or a difficult family conversation— with courage and the willingness to engage. Rather than sitting on the sidelines and hurling judgment and advice, we must dare to show up and let ourselves be seen. This is vulnerability. This is daring greatly." 

I have a bunch of travel diary posts coming up. Stay tuned! x

BRB

This past month has tested my resilience in more ways than I could imagine. There is nothing I need more than a little R&R; a morsel of time away.

Here's to packing a bag, heading to the ocean and shedding a layer with every step.

Below is this week's mantra! Be back soon.

Source: Tumblr

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