The Status Woe

I once dated a guy who owned a $700 belt.

While I couldn't fathom spending that much on an item to hold up my pantaloons, I don't knock people who can. It's more about what that belt symbolizes to the person. For some, it's just another investment piece to add to their wardrobe, while to others it can represent a certain realm of status and superiority over us common folk, who use the old-fashioned method of throwing pants in the wash to keep them up.

When casually meeting my sister for the first time, this boy said something ultra arrogant about the salesperson who sold him the damn belt and my sister nearly fell backwards off her chair. She was appalled at the snobbery that was committed in our backyard and her first impression of this guy was forever tarnished. To this day, my sister can't walk by the store, hear its name or see its logo without making a comment or a joke about that guy. Seriously.

When you make a purchase ask yourself these questions: Will this item make me feel happier? Part of something? Legitimate? Authentic? Why do I need this so badly? What does it represent?

While working part-time at the bank, I saw people come in who drove spiffy cars and sported designer threads only to pull up their accounts and see that they're living off credit cards and dirty debt. It seems some people don't care if the bag's fake and the credit card interest rate is up, it's all about who they are claiming to be. Let's call it the "new is better" syndrome where people can't seem to upgrade their phones, computers, cars and clothes fast enough.

What we wear, and how we communicate our image has a lot to say about how others perceive us.  Before you even open your mouth, someone can make 100 judgments about who you are and what you may be about. But people can also change their mind based on your personality. A slave-to-the-label-poser can be seen as graceful and kind once they start talking, and a seemingly sweet dirty haired hippie can spew pretentious fluff. I don't care if your watch is $5 or $5000 just don't be a jerk.

Don't get me wrong, I do have a dream car, dream house and a first pair of working girl dream shoes that I hope to purchase one day without having to live off Mr. Noodle. My hope is that when I do achieve those things, I will never look down at the intern beside me wearing Payless.

So what does the person who has nothing yearn for? Re-evaluate what you have and remember things are just things. 

[photo credit: shop window N.Y.C Oct. 2009] 

Sidenote: I will never reveal the identities of the people I blog about. That's not fair to them. So to all the boys I date in the future, don't worry just because I have a blog doesn't mean I'm going to blog about you. It's when you become an anecdote around my kitchen table, then it becomes fair game :)

(Girl) Talk is Cheap

[photo credit: myfreewallpapers.net]

Billy Crystal said it best, "Men and Women can't be friends," (When Harry Met Sally).

I've come to agree with this statement whole-heartedly and yet I've broken this rule many times. I thought I could find loopholes such as if one party was already in an existing relationship. But that proved to be even worse. It seems that someone always falls for the other. Someone's intentions somehow suddenly change along the way. The only way it works is when all parties have known each other for a very long time. Let's say since pre-pubescent, lip smackers and boy band days.

Moving back home has been a Halloween candy bag of experiences. There's the good stuff like the full sized chocolate bars, and then you find the cheap cellophane wrapped candy mints. But my sugar rush now comes in the form of my friends, half of them being part of the male gender. Most of us went to the same elementary school but attended separate high schools and while some moved away for university, most stayed put. Regardless, we've somehow managed to find each other again at a time when everyone is trying to figure out the next chapter of our lives.

Sometimes I much prefer talking to guys. Don't get me wrong, I love my girlfriends and appreciate their advice but it is interesting to get a male's perspective. Guys are also more relaxed, less catty and more honest I find.

Overall it is fair to say that every guy has a different perspective on relationships based on past experiences, yet they all want the head-over-heels-in-love-must-have-a-life-of-their-own-perhaps-a-respectable-career-chilled-cool-personality-hang-with-my-friends-hang-with-yours-non-clingy-must-be-attractive-face-and-body-and-not-boring- same thing.

I can safely say this goes for most girls too. At this point, no one is willing to settle for cheap cellophane wrapped mint candy.

My favourite gem of advice comes from Andrew who has left us for law school in England. When he returned for the holidays I filled him in on my most recent boy escapades. He said, "He sounds like a bloody wanker." Spoken like a true Brit.

You see I know it won't always be this way but for now it's nice to live in my very own version of FRIENDS, suburban style. 

Now if I could only get Jennifer Aniston's arms.

Lessons from the First Lady

On my first day of PR school, I remember having to participate in about 100 ice breakers. First off, I hate ice breakers. They give me anxiety. I always sit there sweating it out while trying to think of something clever to say. On the other hand, the instructor gets to pick some question for their own amusement such as, Tell us something about yourself that no one else knows or What is the most interesting thing you've done, or What is your favourite ice cream flavour?

I always sit there wracking my brain while I categorize all of my life experiences.

Anyways, I remember receiving the ice breaker: If you could have lunch with any person who would it be and why?" 

I chose Michelle Obama.

Although my answer to this question changes everyday--on that day I wanted to lunch with the first lady. If the kids and President Obama showed up I wouldn't be opposed. Besides having great arms,  intelligence and an actual sense of style Mrs. Obama also probably knows a thing or two about relationships.

“Cute’s good. But cute only lasts for so long, and then it’s, who are you as a person? Don’t look at the bankbook or the title. Look at the heart. Look at the soul...When you’re dating a man, you should always feel good...You shouldn’t be in a relationship with somebody who doesn’t make you completely happy and make you feel whole.” -Michelle Obama- Glamour Magazine 2009

Sometimes I read something (like the above quote) and it kind of sticks to my brain like unfloured pizza dough until I remember it again at a different point in time. I also think this quote applies to both genders. Just rearrange the words to suit your situation. The theme is universal.

So I dare to ask:

Are you in a relationship or dating someone that makes you feel oh so good or are you just fooling yourself? No need to answer but it does make you think. Hmm...

[photo credit: This image is a work of an employee of the Executive Office of the President of the United States, taken or made during the course of the person's official duties. As a work of the U.S. federal government, the image is in the public domain]

HE PUT A RING ON IT

What do I know about getting married? Well absolutely nothing to be quite honest, but I ask you to humour me.

Since the time Cinderella lost that damn glass slipper to current reality television shows like Bulging Brides or ridiculously insulting movies like Bride Wars, women are given images to glamourize and internalize the idea of getting married. In my opinion, a big white dress and a shiny diamond ring are fun, exciting things to yearn for BUT they are still just things.

To me, the romantic part of an engagement goes beyond the ring. It lies in the question.  The idea of someone asking you to walk down the rocky path of life with them. Someone asking you to face the hardships together. To greet happiness with outstretched arms. A promise to combat sadness side by side. To watch as each wrinkle creeps onto one another's face. To watch as life changes and families grow. 

It is a promise to remember just how happy two people are right now and continue to never lose the ability to bring out the best in one another. 

To put this post into context- (and not freak out anyone in my life because I'm suddenly talking about marriage) but my beautiful cousin and her super sweet boyfriend had a very exciting weekend.

So I take this moment to say:

CONGRATULATIONS TO CHRIS AND DIANE 

 who got engaged in N.Y.C over the weekend! I wish you guys only the best. I couldn't be happier for two people. Love you!

SAY WHAT?

Today, somehow me and a friend got to chatting about love triangles. Neither of us are experts on the topic, but Seth Cohen on the other hand does have some wise words:

Seth: "Speaking from a recent personal experience the triangle is not a friendly shape, okay? It's pointy, it's got sharp edges. Triangles hurt people."

What are your thoughts on love trianges?

      

C-c-c-curly

A few weeks ago my mother made me watch The Way We Were.


It was her "favouriteeee movie" back in the day. She claims Robert Redford is our present day Brad Pitt. So I obliged. I'll admit Robert was charming with this little boy hair cut, and baby blues- but it was Barbra Streisand who I just couldn't figure out. Her loud personality, and bright red lipstick didn't seem to match with his easy going nature. All in all, I wasn't swooning or singing the theme song, although my mom was. 

The movie did remind me of one of my favourite quotes from Sex and the City though:

Miranda: Robert Redford is madly in love with Barbra Streisand
Carrie: K-k-k-katie
Miranda: Right, but he can't be with her because she's too complicated and she had wild curly hair
Carrie: Hello! C-c-c-curly!
Miranda: Yeah, so he leaves her and marries this simple girl, with straight hair
Carrie: Ladies, I am having an epiphany. The world is made up of two types of women: the simple girls and the Katie girls…I'm a Katie girl!”

This quote even inspired a blog. 

Oh, in case you haven't figured it out. I'm definitely a Katie girl, or a Carrie girl.