My Top Five Books About Love

Reading about love or heartbreak can be cathartic.

It's validating to know that a fictional character, or a real person has experienced the same pain, or uplifting joy that we feel when we open ourselves up to another person. Just ask my new favourite Instagram account, Hot Dudes Reading.

Whether it's heartache, commitment, marriage, or self-exploration, it's hard to find a novel that doesn't focus on these themes in one way or another. I constantly read about love in all of its capacities, whether I'm in a relationship, newly single, heartbroken, or playing the field. It's a constant learning game, and I find it fascinating.

I don't have many views on Valentine's Day; I can take it or leave it depending on my romantic situation. However, February seems to be the month of love, hence this post.

Below are my top five books for whatever you're feeling!

1. This Is The Story Of A Happy Marriage - Author Ann Patchett's collection of essays focuses on her writing career, love for her dog, divorce, and new marriage. My favourite essay, the title of the book, has the simplest advice when it comes to relationships: "Does he make you a better person?"

2. Us: A Novel - For those who loved Nicholls' One Day, his second novel Us, introduces readers to Douglas and Connie, a middle-aged couple who's marriage is on the verge of ending. Connie wants it to end, Douglas does not. They go on a European adventure with their teenage son, Albie hoping to save it.

3. On Love - Alain de Botton's novel is written in short blurbs and describes a relationship from first glance, and idealization to skepticism and intimacy. It's a roller coaster ride, but aren't all relationships?

4. Americanah - This novel, by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, is my absolute favourite. While it has more important themes like racial politics, the love story between the main characters, Nigerian students Ifemelu and Obinze will break your heart in the best way possible. My favourite line, "She rested her head against his and felt, for the first time, what she would often feel with him: a self-affection. He made her like herself."

5. Love Poems - Pablo Neruda's mini book of poems, will have you seduced. Apparently he wrote them on the island of Capri for his lover Matilde. I carry this with me when I fly.

Not A Model Mantra - Letters of Love

http://pinterest.com/pin/284008320221107208/

A bit of time back, my friend Kiel sent me a link to letters written by American writer John Steinbeck to his son for my weekly mantras.

The topic of the letter was about falling in love. While the thought of a third party reading a personal letter I wrote terrifies me, I love reading about other people's correspondence.

I'm always interested in the way people interact and teach through words. I believe there are lessons to be found in old birthday cards or travel postcards. In this 1958 letter, John's son had confessed that he had fallen in love with a girl, Susan from his boarding school. John's letter to his son highlights the emotions of waiting and the celebration of declaring new love. I found it intriguing how as a father he never dismissed his son's feelings as infatuation or puppy endearment.

This week's Not A Model mantra comes from that letter and is as follows:

"And don't worry about losing. If it is right, it happens -- The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away."- John Steinbeck

You can find the full letter here. Also, if you want to submit your favourite quotes, mantras or musings for next week's post - get in touch at: write.notamodel@gmail.com

x

BOOK CLUBBIN

In one sitting I read About Alice.

I went to my public library today and checked out two books. I haven't read anything lately just to read. Internet reading does not count. School gets in the way and with 14 assignments due in 19 days I really shouldn't be reading for leisure.

Oh and the book is only 78 pages so i'm not a super speed reader or anything.

Anyways, Calvin Trillen's About Alice is a sort-of biography, memoir for his wife. The book focuses on Alice's life from the eyes of her husband. She sadly died of heart failure in her late fifties due to radiation damage to her heart from her treatment for lung cancer back in the seventies.

The book isn't about death though. It is about this one man's love and admiration for his wife. By the end of the book you wish you knew Alice. The way she viewed the world, the way she contributed to life both through her various works and through helping other people who were battling illness. Trillin wrote for The New Yorker and most of his pieces were either about his wife or for her. She was his muse. After reading you hope someone will view you the way Calvin viewed Alice from the moment he met her.

That's how it should be.

I don't want to give too much away and I'm not a book reviewer but if you're looking for a heartfelt quick read check it out.

Review of the second book I picked up to come. I really should do some homework. 

HE PUT A RING ON IT

What do I know about getting married? Well absolutely nothing to be quite honest, but I ask you to humour me.

Since the time Cinderella lost that damn glass slipper to current reality television shows like Bulging Brides or ridiculously insulting movies like Bride Wars, women are given images to glamourize and internalize the idea of getting married. In my opinion, a big white dress and a shiny diamond ring are fun, exciting things to yearn for BUT they are still just things.

To me, the romantic part of an engagement goes beyond the ring. It lies in the question.  The idea of someone asking you to walk down the rocky path of life with them. Someone asking you to face the hardships together. To greet happiness with outstretched arms. A promise to combat sadness side by side. To watch as each wrinkle creeps onto one another's face. To watch as life changes and families grow. 

It is a promise to remember just how happy two people are right now and continue to never lose the ability to bring out the best in one another. 

To put this post into context- (and not freak out anyone in my life because I'm suddenly talking about marriage) but my beautiful cousin and her super sweet boyfriend had a very exciting weekend.

So I take this moment to say:

CONGRATULATIONS TO CHRIS AND DIANE 

 who got engaged in N.Y.C over the weekend! I wish you guys only the best. I couldn't be happier for two people. Love you!